VBO LIKE WHOA <3
I’m going through phases this year. In the beginning of the year, I was feeling terrified and unattractive when it came to me putting myself out there again. I was pushing myself to be sexually social because I thought it was something that needed to happen. I needed to feel wanted again. Regardless if it made me feel like a dirty whore inside. I just wanted to prove to myself that I was in fact attractive. I think I’ve proven that point to myself. But I’m not sure how much good it did. Not sure what I’ve learned about myself from it. Right now, I’m in another phase. What phase is this? This is the ‘fuck everyone’ phase.
Literally and figuratively.
One thing that has happened to me over this new year is that I’ve come to realize that there is a great demand for a 400+ lb woman. The size of my ass isn’t common. I get that. I get that I am desirable. A preference. But it doesn’t change the fact that I am a lover who is hidden away. A desire who is denied. A preference who is disregarded. It confuses the fuck out of me. It makes me hate myself. It makes me question my worth as a woman.
I’m good enough to get a little of your time, good enough to take from, good enough to fuck… but I’m not good enough to have on your arm. Not good enough to be IN your life.
Living in the great northwest for so many years, I had forgot I was pretty. I’ve been brainwashed into thinking that I needed to be skinny to gain affection. These granola eating, closet fat loving, bike riding hipster assholes around here don’t like my kind. And the ones that do, don’t like the brown skin. And all of these men that I’ve encountered in person over the past 8 months, all fat girl lovers, all but one were in the closet about it. It’s a mind fuck. All of this is a mind fuck.
This. This life I lead as a lover girl. Being pined for, obsessed over, dreamed about, fantasized about has fucked me more so than being straight up ignored. I don’t understand the reasoning behind it all. I want to understand why men feel the need to hide their feelings. I want to understand why men feel the need to hide their desires. I want to understand why men appear to have the lowest self esteem ever and feel that it’s important to impress their friends and family.
“I can’t have this woman on my arm! If I date her, I can already hear my boys saying ‘ohhhh you got yourself a linebacker there, eh?’ I can’t live like that. I can’t have people making fun of me because I’m with her!”
This is a statement from my so-called best friend, who was dating a plus size woman, who was so so good to him. He liked her a lot. She lived 50 miles out of town and he’d spend every weekend with her. She fucked him just like he wanted, she pampered him and catered to him, she gave him her money, paid for everything while he was jobless the entire year they ‘dated’, she gave herself, 100% and all she wanted in return was respect and love. But she wasn’t going to get it from him. She didn’t know that, though. Had she known in the beginning that he thought his friends would think she was a beast, would she have given so much?
Situations like this happen often and damn near all of the time to me. Perhaps it’s why I only want to fuck these guys. Why I only want to run through them as fast as I can. Catching feelings is wrong. Because I can be engaged, I can give all of me, I can bend over backwards, cook my ass off, give you everything I have, be everything I can, be the best and it still wouldn’t ever be enough because dude has a complex with impressing his world.
I understand that not all fat girl lovers are like this. But 99.9% of you are. I should know. I’ve fucked 99.9% of you and it’s all the same in the end.
I’m not good enough because I’m too fat.
Well hey. Fuck you. Fuck you for believing that value lies within the size of dress I wear. Fuck you for believing that your worth is determined by the prettiest woman you can find, by the baddest car you can drive, by the biggest house and the fanciest toys. FUck you for being brainwashed! I feel sorry for all of you closet fat girl lovers. You’re going to die unhappy and alone or with some frail body woman that you don’t feel comforted with. You’re going to constantly be worried about your status and in the end, it’s going to kill you and whatever piece of that heart that isn’t blackened by society and the pressure to impress your peer fucks.
I am worth something. I know that. I also know that I can’t change the world or how you feel about yourself. I can’t change that you aren’t secure enough within your manhood to tell people to fuck the fuck off if they don’t like how you are living your life. I just had no idea there were so many weak ass men out there. Perhaps I had a clue but I was hoping that I was just delusional. Perhaps I had just had bad luck.
I truly believe most of you men have worse self-esteem than women. And the sooner you all can get it together, the sooner I can live better, the sooner the rest of us fat women can live better lives, the sooner you can be the happiest you’ve ever been. Stop fucking it up for everyone! MAN THE FUCK UP! Tell the world you love fat girls and stop making me feel like shit!!!!!!!!
Feeling weird about your boobs?
WELL YOU SHOULDN’T because they’re fucking brilliant.
Check out the Normal Breasts Gallery website to help you realize the full extent of breast diversity and beauty :3
Love your boobies, babies!
In my engagement in the internet communities of fat positivity and body positivity I’ve noticed many things. That a lot the movement has been about breaking and deconstructing the beauty norms of the dominate society. Yet, the community kind of functions like the failures of white cis women feminism. That is POCs, queer, differently abled, and certain body types remain totally invisible in a movement that has a foundation of visibility. But why is this so, and what are the ways in which the movement has to change in order to be more self critical.
I think that the first issue I find that there is a lack of a social justice lens in the movement. I feel like the fat and body positivity movement focuses on the idea that self love is about you and your body, and that is it. Or maybe sometimes I’ll see the movement touch on the way that society shapes us fat folks effects how we see ourselves. I guess I’m waiting for the larger connections to systems of oppression. Let’s break apart the whole diet industry that makes millions off random shit to “make you thin and happy” I think that the social justice lens would also help us in to beginning to have a better intersectional lens. You think we would’ve figured out that we live all our identities together and they inform each other. I’m not saying that the social justice lens is the answer. As a person who engages in “social justice communities” I know its not all rainbows and butterflies. Still a start is better than nothing
The next step on our journey is some simple allyship shit. If some calls you out on some shit, accept it. Don’t talk about how your blog is about fat and not (insert race, class, queerness, ability). We all need to be accountable to things we say and do. Don’t start getting super defensive and trying to come for people. If a person of color tells you to check your whiteness go and check your whiteness. And don’t ask them to educate you. Go read a book, or do a google search and figure that shit out for yourself.
There’s a class issue we need to talk about. Look the movement is so centered on the intersections of clothing/fashion and visibility that I just step back. I know there’s a great thrifting culture, and awesome fat swaps. Still there are a lot of us who are left out this culture and find the task of clothing both haunting and expensive. Simple science is that clothes for us fat folks just cost a lot of money, and we need to talk about how are movement in some ways fails to check and talk about the issue of capitalism.
On this issue of clothing lets talk about the the femme life. I support it 150% and think its awesome that there are some badass fat fem bitches walking around. That being said I’m not the girl who found fat/body positivity and realized it was of for me to be a fem. I don’t want to present as fem, and I wish I could see more people like myself in the movement. I feel that there are some big visibility things on that front. Like come on I know beth ditto continues to be a bad bitch, but she is not the only fat person in the world. I love her, but I’m sick of her being the face of a movement and a life.
There’s still body privilege y’all, and the sooner we admit that the happier we’ll be. Look all I see are pear or hourglass fat girls on my tumblr dash. I mean uhhhhhh what about the rest of us. On my good days I feel like I have the shape of a garbage bag. The point is fat bodies are diverse in so many ways and I’d actually like to see that. Its getting to the point where I’m like is this movement for me cause……. I don’t have an ass, or boobs.
I mean in the end I’m still grateful for the fat/body positive movement. I’ve come a long way thanks to it, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that there are tons of problems. I want this shit to a movement not just something that makes us fat folks hold ourselves accountable. We need to hold the damn world accountable.
i feel alla this
Jeanne Ray (via fyoured)
This is exactly my take on nutrition.
I love this quote so much I want to frame it to hang in my kitchen.
|—||Berrin A. Beasley, Weight Watching: The Ethics of Commodifying Appearance for Profit. (via jojojetspacecadet)|
There is more to eating than calories, even biochemically – there are vitamins, minerals, essential fatty acids, essential amino acids, antioxidants, electrolytes, fluids, dietary fibre, all the raw materials for repairing and remodeling every single cell in your body. More than that, there is culture, family history, occasion, artistry, skill, growth, feelings of joy or resentment, pleasure or distaste. There are emotional associations and memories, and there is the basic affirmation of life – “I need to eat to survive, and I am worth the effort to survive.” Every act of eating reaffirms your right to exist.
There is more to movement than calories, even biochemically – there is bone strengthening, muscle building, aerobic fitness, neural growth, balancing of hormones and lipid transporters, and every single involuntary movement and chemical reaction carried on below your conscious awareness, working around the clock to stave off entropy. More than that, there is fun, adventure, challenge, mastery, strength, place associations, social bonding, the experience of being an alive thing on a round, blue speck in the galaxy. There is a basic affirmation that you exist in a world you were designed to navigate.
Even if you are disabled, even if you have some impairment, your body is still exploring – from the bat of an eyelash to a trip to the bathroom. You are negotiating, discovering, navigating a physical existence.
Olympian Raises the Bar for Plus-Sized Women
In this week’s issue of TIME, we profile Sarah Robles, the top-ranked female Olympic weightlifter in the U.S. (The story is available on newsstands June 1, and to TIME subscribers here). As we write in the piece, Robles, who is 5 ft. 10 in. and weighs 275 pounds, “is chasing much more than a medal in London. She’s on a mission to change how people perceive larger women – and how larger women and girls perceive themselves.”
When we think of Olympic bodies, we tend to picture ripped runners, or a swimmer with a six-pack. Robles doesn’t fit that mold. But the Olympic stage is a chance for her to show young women that in some sports, size can be an advantage. Growing up, Robles was always the biggest kid in the class, and often bigger than her teachers. She was bullied: kids hit her and mooed at her. But by high school, she had found an athletic outlet, and finally felt acceptance.
For girls, breaking stereotypes is more difficult. We’re accustomed to seeing bulky guys playing football. Robles knows she should shed pounds once her competitive career is over, so she can avoid long-term health risks. But for now, she’s loving lifting. “The lifts are so rhythmic, the movements so purposeful,” Robles says. “I like the way it makes my body look and feel. I’m healthy on the inside now.”